It has been a while since my last update, I started a post but never ended up finishing it. The last time that I posted I noted that the doctor put my on an iron supplement once a day to help combat an iron deficiency tied in with my MPN and hopefully help with some of the fatigue that I have been feeling. He wanted me to start with one pill a day so that hopefully it did not mess with my hematocrit levels too much. He advised that I should have felt a difference within about 10 days and if not to step up the dose to the maximum of three times per day. Unfortunately on one pill a day I never really noticed a change so I stepped it up to two a day, one in the morning and one in the evening. I think I am starting to see a change.
My next monthly appointment was supposed to be Monday the 6th however I received a call from the doctor's office saying that my Dr. had a family emergency and my appointment was cancelled. They wanted to reschedule for an additional 4 weeks away. As soon as I got the message I called back but unfortunately the office was already closed. I left a message stating that I understand he had an emergency but that my concern with scheduling so far in the future was that I was just put on iron with a concern of raising my hematocrit levels. I received a call back on Monday the 6th and the lady stated that another Dr. looked over my records and agreed that I should be tested so now my appointment is on the 21st of November seeing a different doctor. Mostly just so they can get another blood test and find out if they need to phlebotomize again. I was frustrated with why they didn't look into it a little further before trying to get it another 4 weeks out but I guess it all worked out.
It has been two months to the day since I was diagnosed and while my treatment is all minor medications recently I have become annoyed with having to take it at all. I think a part of me is angry right now. It's almost like the stages of grief except I don't think I have ever been in denial. The thing is I feel for the most part I have done the right thing through my life. Don't get me wrong, I have made mistakes and done things I have not been proud of but I have lead a hard working, honest life. My father taught me that anything worth doing was worth doing right and I still live my life that way. I guess a part of me wants to know why I have to deal with all this, a question that I know will never be answered.
A part of what is fueling my anger is that I work a full time job, was working a part time job (I have not worked it since I hit my head), running a small business and a farm and now I can't really afford to get life insurance. I mean what company isn't going to charge a fortune for insurance when the big "C" word is involved even though this particular cancer had been said to have a long, mostly normal life. My best bet for life insurance right now is though USAA but I am barely making ends meet now. Then add on to that the confusion about all the different options for life insurance. How long should I get it for, what kind etc.etc.
I don't really see myself in the bargaining stage of grief, I know that I have this issue and that there is really nothing to be done to make it go away. Come right down to it I think I bounce from different stages leaving bargaining and denial out of it. I go back and forth between anger, sadness and acceptance. Although I think I have accepted that I have a form of cancer, it still pisses me off sometimes and other times, I think too much about it and get a bit down.
On a lighter side, I have gotten to do a few fun things recently, I went to a retirement party for a man at work and had a blast. I was out until 4am and I have not done that in ages, although I really paid for it later as it took about two days to recover. I got to go to another party, that was a combo kids birthday/adult get together type party. I tend to get a bit shy in groups that I don't really know but I did ok. I didn't use to be like that though I use to be a social person, I don't really know when that changed. I guess my point is I am trying to do things and get out more, I don't want this to consume me.
I will update again after I go in on the 21st. Hopefully the iron is not messing with my levels too much but if it is they will take more blood to balance everything out. Until next time.
Other MPN Resources.
Denial, Anger. Bargaining, Sadness and Acceptance, My stages of grief realized.
Found this NCCN Guideline for MPNs today. I think it is a pretty good resource.
Today marked my monthly visit with oncology, Today we start a new journey in this fight.
ASU, Mayo Clinic and University of TX are looking for MPN Patients to participate in a new study using yoga
Welcome to the new MPN Journal site.
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